Every now and then, our company has this “Crazy Day”. Everybody will have to dress up on a theme that will be agreed. Last month, my team Cross Dressed. The guys wore ladies clothes and the girls wore guy’s clothes. I never expected it to be so much fun. It was a consequence for not meeting a quota but turned out to be so much fun. This month, I am crossing my fingers and praying that we meet our target or else we will all have another Crazy Day. I am not being negative or something, but as early as now, I am thinking on what our next theme would be. If this is a consequence then at least we make it twice as fun as the first time. I am thinking of having Brady Bunch Costumes for this month. Well, in case. But of course, I would still prefer that we hit our target and don’t have to through the Crazy Day instead get rewarded. In life, we can never have everything our way. And the best way to deal with it is to enjoy it and turn that unhappy feeling into something positive by being grateful of the things that we have instead rather than whining about it which would definitely not able to help you get out of that mess. Lesson learned…Happiness is still a choice! I’m sticking to it.

If I am to get my life ensured now, and I take the Insurance exam, I am surely to fail. Not that I am suicidal or something. I simply mean, would stress make you fail in that life insurance test they will conduct before they grant you your insurance? I don’t know. But it being stressed is part of it, I am so busted. I heard there are some Life Insurance company that has No Medical Exam Life Insurance required. Then let’s go for it. Have ourselves insured. I used to be confident before that let the future take care of itself. But honestly, I am not sure anymore. I hope I’d get that confidence back. I want to be accountable for everything that is going on with me right now. I don’t want to point fingers to people behind me, in front of me or the person beside me. In the test of life, you should be accountable with every decision you make whether they give out a positive or negative result. It was you who took the test in the first place. And you should blame anybody for it. So now, I am taking accountability of what’s going on with me right now.

I need a break. There has been a lot of stress in work these past few days. There were deliverables and audits left and right. I had to deal with agents that has problems in motivating themselves to come to work. That’s also apart from the family crises that we are facing right now. I wanted to book myself to a caravan park and just enjoy one whole day with me, myself and I. It seems selfish, but I really need time to be alone. I wanted to be somewhere where I can only see beautiful things. Where I can be myself without worrying on what the person beside me would say. I can be crazy and mad for a day. Do things that I have not done for a long time. Run around, sing, shout, dance and just be free. Sometimes, I long for these moments where I will not worry about a single thing. And most of all, where I can contemplate, laugh at those mistakes I’ve made, get scared and be brave again in just a snap. In other words, I wanted to crawl out of my system even for just 5 minutes. And when I have my fill, then I’d be ready to be back to reality again.

This year, specifically this month is the favorite time of my life so far. Though there were trials that came, but this family has been whole and united, standing strong and holding each others hands along the way. Family members living far came home. Even those family member who just lived near each other, never bonded like this before. I wanted to have a cardboard display that would say that this best family ever. I could not ask for more.

The house has been silent and clean most of the time since the kids does not have school yet. They spend most of their time at their cousins’ house. So I had lots of time to do some general cleaning and rearranging. I realized that I had lots of modern furniture house. Looking at them, I felt blessed. I remember before we moved out from my grandmother’s house, we left with only a bed, a TV set and computer. It never fails to amaze me that even if I am unfaithful, My God remains faithful and continues to pour out His blessings. I am thankful.

If I only have the money, I wanted my daughter to be an Equestrian. I would love to see her compete wearing a lovely pair of riding boots. I know it would cost a lot to be one. But I am not losing my hopes on that. Who knows, one day, this wish of mine will come true. We’ll never know what the future has in stored for us. I am hopeful that the future has something good in stored for me.

I have lots of single friends at work. I seldom become their shock absorber when they have crushes and all. Sometimes people come to me and ask for some advises on how to make a relationship work or something. It’s not because I am a love doctor or something like that, but it’s because I am married and being one made my single friends think that I am an expert. I just let them be. But for those singles who is desperate to get into a relationship, I usually recommend to them www.connectingsingles.com. I understand them because I was a single once. It made me feel happy if I am able to help out a friend. I love it especially when I make my friends happy. Most often than not, I get excited every time I have a friend who falls in love. But I also would make sure that I would also be around if they feel down as well. Make advises ready for them in case they need it already. I just love the feeling that my ideas and advices are needed and would always count. Or by simply being there and just listen. It gives me a different kind of satisfaction and fulfillment.

As I was riding a taxi on the way home, I noticed that the cab I was riding was not in a good condition. I don’t know much about cars, but just hearing the sound of it, I know that it was. I think it needs some New Auto Parts or whatever. I almost lost my temper because I got dizzy from the abrupt stopping and going of the car. I wanted to get off. But when I looked at the driver, he was really sweating out wanting to make the car run so he could get paid. I felt a tiny hurt in my heart and a feeling of sympathy to the guy. Instead, I said a silent prayer and asked God to fix it even until when I get home so I can pay him. I just felt bless today that I have job and I don’t have to literally sweat just to get paid. Thank you Lord for all the blessings!

In a while, I will visit my grandmother. I feel so guilty not being able to visit her lately. I promise my self that I will do that today. She is already old and not in good condition. I wanted to buy her something that she likes. But she got diabetes and she likes sweets. I could not buy her that. Should I buy her some medicare supplements? I don’t think so. She’d get furious. OK, I think I will buy her fruits. I think that would work. I hope. As I’m writing this post, I am silently saying a prayer for her. May she live her life to the fullest till she can finally say it’s over. Love you Mie! (I call her that.)

Finding security is never easy. You really would not know the future. As a married woman I seldom worry about my security as a wife. As a mother, I worry about the security about my kid’s future. As a career woman, I worry about the security about my job. Fear for the unknown is what I call it. Most people get their security by being literally being insured. They insure their kids education, they insure their life they even have motor trade insurance. Well, I really don’t know what it means. I just came across that somewhere. But my point is, is it the only solution to insecurity. What about trying to invest on love, patience, understanding and perseverance? I don’t’ know… That is why there is a question mark at the end of that sentence. I don’t have any of that insurance at all. I have only one thing that I hold on to… I have faith. And the rest, I leave it all to the future. If I buy a car, I might insure it. But I did not buy my husband and my kids so why do I need to insure them as well? A question mark at the end too…